Flow of Life - Journal

JOURNAL

An observational diary of the multiple currents interacting simultaneously within.

Over the course of 13 months, Marisa kept a journal documenting her flows — the sensations & insights of her body, mind and blood. Sometimes a poem would arise, other times, the pain was too much to bear to even lift a pen... but always, her curiosity and desire to heal led her deep into the wisdom of her womb.

TURBULENCE

June 12 - 15, 2021

FLOW OF PHYSICAL

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FLOW OF BLOOD

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FLOW OF THOUGHT

Her womb sheds
The sky looks
Her flower drips

The invisible moon hangs in the sky effortlessly
Our rivers carry the same waters
I carry them red

Approach with curiosity
From her womb
we depart
Connected cord
we arrive on Earth

DUALITY

July 10 - 14, 2021

FLOW OF PHYSICAL

Moon: 1 day after new moon
Pain: extreme
Emotional Wellbeing: unbalanced - torn between two paths
Breast tenderness: extreme
Skin: more impurities then usual
Other: Fever (99), vomiting (no food, just yellow substance), body aches, feeling of fainting

FLOW OF BLOOD

Day 1: very little
Day 2: medium
Day 3: little
Day 4: very little

FLOW OF THOUGHT

A part of me dies
Heightened gratitude for family and friends
Duality
The creator/the destroyer
The menstrual cycle is a part of all of us
You are unbound by time
Our blood is unbound by time
Beneath this sheet of human form
I am still the seed
Beneath I am still the seed
Why does my strength prevent me from receiving care?
Why am I afraid of abandonment?

CREATION

August 14 - 17, 2021

FLOW OF PHYSICAL

Moon: Waxing Crescent
Pain: extreme - entire body - joints - blood seems to be stuck in my veins - obstructed circulation - cramps
Emotional Wellbeing: erupting underlying pain + hard to connect
Breast Tenderness: medium but very swollen
Skin: one pimple on left cheek - I didn’t touch it this time!!! Accomplishment.

FLOW OF BLOOD

Day 1: very little blood - lots of pain
Day 2: a lot - medium pain
Day 3: a lot - periods of pain and no pain
Day 4: very little

FLOW OF THOUGHT

Activate
Let the Old die
Transform the passive recipient
Start the fire
A hardened heart
There are a million ways to respond, you choose
Fragmentation of a Molecular Cloud
Turbulence -> collapse -> fragmentation -> star formation

Name the emptiness I feel love
How would my experience towards emptiness change if I would see it as love?

There is light in darkness and there is darkness in light
Yin/Yang

ORGANIC MANIFESTATION

September 11 - 13, 2021

FLOW OF PHYSICAL

Moon: Waxing Crescent
Pain: cramps/lower back
Emotional Wellbeing: lack of feeling - hard to connect with myself and Michael
Breast Tenderness: very swollen
Skin: None
Other: bad night-rest for a few nights leading up to cycle, waking up to bleed, body feels tired

FLOW OF BLOOD

Day 1: started at 2:30 am - heavy breakthrough bleeding
Day 2: heavy bleeding
Day 3: ∞
Day 4: ∞

FLOW OF THOUGHT

My thoughts feed my pain
I can use my breath to alleviate the pain
I can take control over my mind/thoughts
When I empty my mind and focus on my breath the pain dissipates

Men and women experience time differently
Men experience time linear
Women cyclical

Organic Manifestation
Return to Eden
Interfere less with what is naturally happening

I feel as though I am a flower
Cycling through opening and closing

2 mirrors create infinity
Why is it hard for me to visualize?

With each cycle of the moon a layer of my illusion falls from my body
Everything starts with self observation without judgement

COMING INTO BEING

October 8 - 12, 2021

FLOW OF PHYSICAL

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FLOW OF BLOOD

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FLOW OF THOUGHT

Expressive contemplation
Introspection
Contemplation
Coming into being
Introspection is expressive contemplation

I AM

November 7 - 11, 2021

FLOW OF PHYSICAL

Moon: Waxing Crescent (new moon in scorpio)
Pain: cramps - lower back - intense
Emotional Wellbeing: pretty good
Breast Tenderness: painful before period but not during period
Acne: 1 next to nose, 1 on cheek

FLOW OF BLOOD

Day 1: started at sunset - strong flow - bad sleep
Day 2: very strong flow
Day 3: strong 
Day 4: medium

FLOW OF THOUGHT

The karmic frequency between cause and effect
Entangled roots grow from the heart
Love is to keep blossoming

WALKING THROUGH TIME

December 6 - 10, 2021

FLOW OF PHYSICAL

Moon Phase: Waxing crescent 7%
Pain: top 5 most painful period
Breakthrough: evening
Emotional wellbeing: I feel good - connected & loved
Breast tenderness: not so much anymore on the day of breakthrough but the week leading up to it, pretty strong, they were very very very voluptuous this time, I enjoyed it, Michael did too.
Acne: None
Other: before my breakthrough I thought I might have been pregnant. Heaviness in legs. Headaches.

FLOW OF BLOOD

Day 1: light
Day 2: medium/even flow
Day 3: medium
Day 4: light

FLOW OF THOUGHT

Allow yourself to feel everything and you will be free suppressed culture = suppressed emotion

By feeling your presence, you are yourself
By being yourself, you feel free
This pain is full of lessons
I am Emotion in Motion

FAMILY WITHIN

January 2 - 6, 2022

FLOW OF PHYSICAL

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FLOW OF BLOOD

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FLOW OF THOUGHT

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MOTHERSHIP

February 4 - 9, 2022

FLOW OF PHYSICAL

Moon phase: waxing crescent
Pain: most painful ever (no pain medication until 5 hours after breakthrough)
Breakthrough: morning
Emotional wellbeing: extremely sensitive - inflammable - tired - melancholic - disconnected - looking down
Breast tenderness: pretty tender, not painful
Acne: one small outbreak on chin during flow

FLOW OF BLOOD

Day 1: light (at night strong)
Day 2: strong (at night mainly)
Day 3: medium
Day 4: ∞

FLOW OF THOUGHT

So many different realities we can experience
So many different realities we can create
Create + Experience = Interact
Which reality do you choose? 

Gestures of romance
Questing eyes
We are guided home into mystery
Feeling at home in the mystery

AS LOVE TURNS

March 4 - 8, 2022

FLOW OF PHYSICAL

Moon phase: new moon
Pain: painful but after pain medication the pain eased
Breakthrough: morning
Emotional wellbeing: steady, good - soft - slight tiredness - direct communication
Breast tenderness: bigger then usual but not as painful
Skin: one pimple near left eye

FLOW OF BLOOD

Day 1: light (at night strong)
Day 2: captured blood in glass jar (travel day)
Day 3: ∞
Day 4: ∞

FLOW OF THOUGHT

∞

HOME

April 1 - 4, 2022

FLOW OF PHYSICAL

Moon phase: new moon
Pain: took pain medication right away - not too much pain
Breakthrough: afternoon
Emotional wellbeing: calm - balanced
Breast tenderness: tender not painful
Skin: one pimple on my left cheek

FLOW OF BLOOD

Day 1: light
Day 2: strong (woke up 3 times to bleed)
Day 3: strong (woke up twice to bleed)
Day 4: ∞

FLOW OF THOUGHT

I show myself this way because I want you to see me this way so I can experience myself this way

Her presence is her art
To feel the sun directly on my chest
To not lose my breath by going to fast - so it can take my breath away

HOLY TRINITY

April 26 - May 1, 2022